Saint Zero

hoganddice:

takethethirdoption:

I went to an Arab-American comedy night and there was a Muslim guy making a joke about being in high school football.

"I was hit so hard, I saw Jesus. Do you know how hard you have to be hit to see somebody else’s god?"

This is what jokes about religion are supposed to look like.

ifunnyws:

Jonah Hill & Morgan Freeman

vinegod:

How to win water balloon fights!! by Zach King

surprisebitch:

twophoenixfeathers:

whoop there it is

truth tea has been spilled

madelinelime:

When I was a kid I thought your 20s were supposed to be fun, not filled with perpetual anxiety about financial stability and constantly feeling like an unaccomplished piece of shit. 

That’s because it was fun for baby boomers and they basically gave us this impression it would always be like that, but then they ruined the economy.

o-my-boys:

#OH MY GOD#THEY SKIPPED SCHOOL#TO AUDITION FOR THE FILM#NO FUCKING WONDER THEY GOT THE PART#THAT IS LITERALLY SOMETHING#FRED AND GEORGE WOULD HIGH FIVE OVER
Claiming there is no other life in the universe is like scooping up some water, looking at the cup and claiming there are no whales in the ocean.
Neil deGrasse Tyson in response to “Aliens can’t exist because we haven’t found them yet” (via we-are-star-stuff)
automotivated:

Lamborghini Urus. (by Ian Altamore.)

automotivated:

Lamborghini Urus. (by Ian Altamore.)

thefrogman:
your fav childhood memory?
Anonymous

ageekyfemmeforeveringlasses:

Not paying bills

yougothexed:

tainted-sweet-meats:

ms-delcious:

blink-oneeightyjew:

OH MYGOD WHY

No.I’m done.

why


I’ve risen from the grave to wreck your mind

What is wrong with my dash today.

yougothexed:

tainted-sweet-meats:

ms-delcious:

blink-oneeightyjew:

OH MYGOD WHY

No.I’m done.

why


I’ve risen from the grave to wreck your mind

What is wrong with my dash today.

commit-seppuku-konoyaro:

fabflyingfox:

johntgonzales:

crocketingsolly:

johntgonzales:

trying to turn my lil bro into a furry. any tips?

"I can help"

image

this means something. right?

[LOUD ANGRY YELLING]

this fucking fandom has the most painful jokes ever

NO. NO FUCK YOU.