I went to an Arab-American comedy night and there was a Muslim guy making a joke about being in high school football.
"I was hit so hard, I saw Jesus. Do you know how hard you have to be hit to see somebody else’s god?"
This is what jokes about religion are supposed to look like.
Jonah Hill & Morgan Freeman
When I was a kid I thought your 20s were supposed to be fun, not filled with perpetual anxiety about financial stability and constantly feeling like an unaccomplished piece of shit.
That’s because it was fun for baby boomers and they basically gave us this impression it would always be like that, but then they ruined the economy.
|—||Neil deGrasse Tyson in response to “Aliens can’t exist because we haven’t found them yet” (via we-are-star-stuff)|
Not paying bills
OH MYGOD WHY
I’ve risen from the grave to wreck your mind
What is wrong with my dash today.
trying to turn my lil bro into a furry. any tips?
"I can help"
this means something. right?
[LOUD ANGRY YELLING]
this fucking fandom has the most painful jokes ever
NO. NO FUCK YOU.